I would like to tell you that my foot never stumbled and that the smile did not leave my face.
I would like to tell you that I kept my belly laugh and didn’t give in to heartache
I would like to tell you the storm clouds gathered but I was not moved by the storm
I would like to tell you my faith never wavered and I held tight to my Father’s arm
I would like to tell you I never gave up an ounce of hope and that I kept my composure
I would like to tell you that I always had enough faith to carry me over
Oh how I would like to tell you that nothing fazed me!
But if I told you that I would not be telling you my truth and if I did not confess my truth my story would be incomplete.
My truth is I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach like you get when you skip a step while going down stairs
My truth is I was upset and paralyzed with fear and I gave up hope and I decided not to care
My laughter stopped, my heart broke, I was afraid and tears fell
The storm came and I could not identify my tears from the rain
My faith was weak and worn my heart was broke and torn
I was hopeless and could not recognize myself
My faith wavered and my shoulders sank
The words that came out of my mouth surprised even me
Who knew that life could humble me in such a way and bring up so much ugly out of me?
Who knew I was so angry and that life’s disappointment could truly show me myself?
Who knew I was tired and that extra push would make me turn on everyone else?
After friends and family came to my aid
I was still bitter and angry and feeling disgraced
I failed to see that their love was God’s love and that their warmth was from Him
I failed to see that their prayers were divinely inspired by none other than Him
I was so caught up in feeling sorry for myself that I didn’t realize how unfair I was to everyone else
Thank God for clarity, for vision and sight
Thank God for finally recognizing that He has already won the fight
I can tell you that I have been filled with new courage and new strength
I can tell you that I have been strengthened by the prayers made on behalf of me
I can tell you that I have decided that come what may
I have set my face like flint and have decided to keep the faith.
Things don’t always go the way we had hoped. Sometimes it seems no matter how positive we are, no matter how good we treat others trials and tribulations still come. I encourage you to keep the faith. Everything will be okay. It doesn’t matter how dark it may seem, trouble doesn’t last always. Keep the faith.
© Renata Pittman and RenataNicole, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Renata Pittman and RenataNicole with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.