My Mirror

I fell in love with my mirror.

As I moved, my mirror moved – showing me myself.

My mirror was him, and he was me, and we were one with one another.

The ugliness that resided in me, I could clearly see in him.

The beauty that resided in him, I could clearly see in me.

It was my first conscious relationship.

It was a relationship that helped me to grow in my state of awareness.

My mirror taught me who I was and showed me myself.

Where I was controlling he was to the same degree.

My mirror had trust issues, just as I did.

I had a fear of commitment, a fear so deep I could not even commit to a thought.

His fear of commitment was equal to mine and he would react just the same.

As I had a wall up, so did my mirror.

And for some time we would do a dance.

It was a dance where he would make me laugh and I would him.

It was a dance where I would bring him pain and he would return it in kind.

My mirror frustrated me and I frustrated him.

I would get mad at him for acting just like me and he would get mad at me for behaving just like him.

But I could never stay mad at my mirror who so clearly showed me myself.

Neither one of us were right, neither one of us were wrong, we just were perfect reflections of one another.

I was afraid he would hurt me, so he answered my fear with hurt.

He was afraid I would reject him, so I gave him the rejection he feared.

My mirror and I had egos that were oh so fragile and I further bruised his as he bruised mine.

My mirror had the same past hurts that I had.

There we were, children masquerading as grownups still bearing our childhood pain.

I would try to manipulate him into behaving the way I wanted him to and he would respond with manipulation in kind.

He helped me to see how silly I was an I had to laugh in spite of myself.

I was attracted to him because he was me.

We were two spirits woven from the same fabric and our threads intertwined like no other.

Every time I interact with my mirror I expand.

He challenges me to dig up my past hurt by the root and to pluck it out.

I weep as I react to my mirror, I smile and laugh with my mirror, I love my mirror.

I love my mirror for helping me to become aware of myself.

I thank my mirror for giving me a clear picture of who I am.

The pain I had from my past, he understood because it reflected his past hurt.

I could not stay mad at my mirror for being selfish when I myself was too.

My mirror was afraid of rejection, he was afraid of being hurt, as was I.

We were a perfect storm of healing destruction.

We were afraid of being vulnerable, and our fears caused us to push one another away.

But in the process I grew because I acknowledged my pain.

He treated me like I saw myself and I treated him like he saw himself.

My mirror helped me heal and I thank him for that.

I thank him for showing me myself and being a major player in my expansion.

In him I met my match.

We would foolishly try to outmaneuver one another and both of us would lose.

We played so many mind games with one another that we simply played ourselves.

He drove me crazy and he shook me all the way down to my core.

He confused me and I confused him.

We didn’t give each other what we wanted, we gave one another what we needed.

I love my mirror because my mirror was me.

The people we interact with show us ourselves. They reflect the thoughts we have about ourselves back on us. The people we attract and accept to be a part of our lives mirror how we perceive ourselves. As we grow and change our mirrors change and if they cannot change they leave.

Renata Nicole

© Renata Pittman and RenataNicole, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Renata Pittman and RenataNicole with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.